To my future wife…

dropngoons:

lastofa-dyingbreed:

When I die I want you to mix my ashes in a bowl of chili, then eat it. Just so I can tear that ass up one more time.

I hate this website

(via scottthepilgrim)

slayboybunny:

"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person" 
"oh sorry about that sir" 

(via lananotdelrey)

fruitpacks:

yolotov-cocktail:

fruitpacks:

*snorts pollen* i love nature

You know pollen is plant sperm right

even better

(via pizza)

legitimism:

Do you ever wonder how many people have loved you and never told you?

(via neontuba)

unpopulaur:

"You should smile more!"

image

"You look tired!"

image

"Are you really going to eat all that?"

image

Is it that time of month?

image

"You’re just being dramatic"

image

"You have terrible taste"

image

"Just exercise and eat less!"

image

"Thats really slutty"

image

(Source: tatianamaslnay, via pizza)

edgarsbitch:

alecstasy:

alecstasy:

my dog just had surgery to get a nipple removed and when she came home after the surgery she immediately walked to the window and she has been staring out of the window for like half an hour now thinking about her new life with one less nipple

image

when will my nipple return from war

(via erised-slytherin)